Tuesday, January 12, 2010

It's been rough...

I couldn't think of a better title for this post, but it sure has been rough since we got home from the hospital. Jason & I are so sleep deprived because Jarrett will NOT sleep for more than a 1-2 hour span. Sometimes I feel like I'm a horrible mom because I just don't know what to do anymore. He will throw a mad fit & want someone to hold him 24/7 & we feed him over & over, burp him, put him in his swing, change him, etc. Sometimes he will eat so much, he will end up throwing it all back up. Nothing seems to please him unless he is being held. It is so hard to hold him ALL the time because I can get nothing done. Jason is going back to work Wednesday. I don't go back to work until February 16th.
Tonight I called one of my mom's good friends Carla after my mom suggested that I should. She has 3 grandkids & one of them was really hard to get to sleep. She told me that I needed to stop having him sleep right next to me & swaddle him up, leave him in his crib, let him cry for a bit if I know he has just been fed & changed & not to attend to his every need or he will know he can get what he wants when he wants it! We fed him about an hour ago & put him in his crib just like she said. So far so good. Maybe this new technique will work. Lets hope so, or Jason & I both might have a serious meltdown soon.
Anyone have any other advice on what to do for a fussy baby that won't sleep for long periods of time? We are desperate!

My mom is so sweet & sent me an encouraging e-mail. I know it is hurting BOTH of us right now to live so far away from each other. She scanned in a few pictures of when Becky & I were born with this sweet note:

"I thought you might like to have a copy of these pictures of when your dad and I were going through the newborn baby phase. I don’t know how we survived, but God will give you strength if you ask him. If you look at the pictures of you, I think you will see that Jarrett looks a lot like you did. You have the exact same hair color. I love you! Mom"

Here are some of the pictures she scanned in. After seeing these, I think I can see some of me in my son! Thanks mom :)

I also went by the Pottery Barn Kids store & bought the "Sleep Sheep". I heard this would help the baby sleep & I'll try anything! It's been in his crib with him tonight & I think it might be working. I had a 10% off coupon, so I thought I would go ahead & breakdown & try it.

I also had to add in this picture. This is Jason's idea of not having to hold the bottle for Jarrett...



  1. I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. I wish I could wave a wand it was all over.

    Some of my friends had the problem with their children throwing up their bottle after being fed and they had them checked out and they had reflux. If it keeps happening maybe you could ask your dr about it.

    I agree with your mums friends both my god daughters where bad sleepers and the 2nd one was the worst. She liked to be in a extremely quite room that was really dark and swaddled up nice and tight. When we did this for the first time she sleep for 6 hours straight and so did her mum. She and my cousins have also has used a great book which has help. it is for all different ages as well so it can grown with the child.

    The books website is http://www.mill-pond.co.uk/ and I believe you can get it from Amazon.

    Hope this helps. Will keep you all in my prayers


    p.s there is something in the mail

  2. Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember those days. The first 6 weeks of my daughter's life I thought I was going to die from exhaustion. She would wake up every hour and I don't think I slept at all. For us it was a feeding issue (I had major issues trying to breast feed). Once we switched to formula she slept in 4-5 hour increments and was up to 8 hours by 8 weeks of age. Never looked back and we've both been sleeping great ever since.

    You will find your routine and what he needs, it just takes time. We also use a humidifier in our daughter's room which makes sort of a "white noise" sound and drowns out noise that we make. I did use a sleep bear similar to the sheep you got, I think it helped. You'll find what works and will sleep again! Take care of yourself. No sleep is so rough.

  3. You poor thing!!! I just got finished going through what your going through with Jarrett, and I completely know how frustrating it feels. You are not a bad mom for being frustrated. One day when Olivia was a month old, she would not stop crying. I seriously looked at her and told her to shut-up. I then called and cried to my mom because I had just told my one month old to shut-up. Here's the good news...it will get better. Right now it seems like it won't, but it will. You will just have to figure out what works for Jarrett and you might have to try everything before you find it. It seemed liked nothing would work for Olivia, but we finally found this fish thing that attached to the side of the crib and it played ocean sounds, she loved it. Good luck! It will get better, promise! Praying for you!

  4. First off- I read this and could totally commiserate! Matter of fact, since my son is turning 1 next week, last night I was reading back through the posts I'd written right after his birth, and my plea was much the same. :) My son had reflux, and I found that elevating him in his bed helped tons. Matter of fact, he slept propped up in his boppy for a few weeks. ;) He did NOT like swaddling! I tried because people said it would help him sleep, but the kid just didn't like it. He 2 hour stretches for months. I wasn't a fan of letting him cry it out until he was older and could understand what was going on. Our pedi told us that it takes at least 6 weeks for them to adjust to being out of the womb, so we persevered. We were exhuasted, but eventually it DID GET BETTER. That's what I'm here to tell you. Right now it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but I promise you, there will be. It happens sooner rather than later for some people. My girlfriends baby was a champion sleeper from the very start, he never spit up, always napped, blah blah blah. Mine on the other hand, was 7 months old before he started sleeping all the way through the night SO, that being said, hold on. He'll be a year old before you know it. You'll be a few brain cells shorter, and thinking about having the next one. ;) MEAN thing to say, huh? :P But, it's true! Hang in there, and nap when that baby naps! Even if it's a 30 minute nap, and there are dishes to do, just nap and don't worry, the dishes will be there when you wake up. Oh, do you have a sling carrier? I HIGHLY recommend baby wearing. Go with a Maya or Moby wrap. They're both completely different, so check into which one would work best for you. Baby wearing works wonders with a fussy baby, just make sure you watch a video online to know how to use one properly. I was able to get through the day many days by wearing my baby - he would sleep much better that way and I think it helped establish an early (flexible) schedule.

  5. Obviously I don't know from experience yet :) but my friend just had a baby and was having the same sleeping problem. She was trying to follow the book Baby Wise but it wasn't working to well so she read The Baby Whisperer and since the first time she tried the tips in that book her baby has been sleeping through the night and she is 8 weeks. Everyone elses tips seemed great too!

  6. I don't have kids but my cousin and her friend have 8 between them.
    Ashley (cousins friend) just had twins and recently did a post "it's a miracle" about the miracle blanket. They are super friendly and have tons of experience so feel free
    to ask questions. Wishing you sleep soon!

  7. I always had a strong urge to slap people who talked about what good sleepers their little ones were. (I still don't like those people much. Ha!)

    Audrey NEVER slept.


    Who knows if anything will work. Honestly. We could occasionally get Audrey to take a few stretches but not often...

    My BEST suggestion is that right now you and Jason take shifts. Give little man to each other for a few hour stretches and each of you get some sleep. It's no fun being the one up alone but to get a few hours of straight sleep is MAGICAL.

    Also, Audrey was a much better tummy sleeper. I know all of the books say NO tummy sleeping but it was ALL. THAT. WOULD. WORK.

    I remember staring at her sleeping on her belly debating whether or not to turn her over. I never did. The kid was SLEEPING!! Ha! When she WAS sleeping (one her belly) I bought her the AngelSounds Monitor. It's a monitor that detects movement (including breathing movement), so if they're still for a minute it sounds an alarm.

    It may be worth a try!!!

    Sending you some love and hugs. I almost lost my mind those first few months AND I had my Momma to come take over if I needed her. I don't know how you're doing it all on your own.

  8. PS!


    They don't know your situation or your babies personality.

    Do what works best for the three of you. Do what will give the three of you some sleep. Even if that's sticking him in the bed with you two!

  9. Don't worry honey...all these feelings are so normal! I think we all went through moments of this with our first. Addie was a terrible sleeper and we tried EVERYTHING with her. I also read a million books too and they all suggest different things. What I learned though is that every baby is different and you may have to play trial and error for a while to figure out what works best for you.

    But, if you are looking for any advice, I can tell you what worked for Addie and what has been working for Blake. Swaddling is key in my opinion. keeping them nice and tight (but not too hot) seems to keep them down more soundly. I found the best swaddler too. it is called the Miracle Blanket and it has worked WONDERS for Blake. I love it. I may order like 4 more :-) Lots of my friends used it too and had great results. It may be worth trying if you are desperate :-) And my other advice is to let them fuss. I was so afraid to let Addie cry because I thought I was being a terrible mother. But as soon as I let her cry a little, she started to learn to fall asleep on her own and that is really when things turned around.

    And last but not least...I agree with your other blog friends...don't rely too much on books. They all say different things BUT I did learn some helpful tips. The book I liked best was Healthy Sleep Habits, healthy Child. It seemed like the most practical advice in my opinion. Good luck sweetie!

  10. I can feel the exhaustion in your post. I'm SO sorry. I don't have advice as I'm not a mom yet... I just wanted to say I'm sorry! I would be SO sad if my mom weren't there to help me during these rough times. Swaddling, propping and shift work seem to be the popular bits of advice... Good luck girl.

  11. That picture is hilarious. Don't give my husband any ideas...or he'll be finding unique ways to prop up bottles. =)
    Hang in there.


    We had a radio in Hayden's room that we played a lullaby CD on - just for white noise and it helped a lot! He wasn't sleeping through the night but he did seem to sleep a little longer.
    We also had a bouncy seat that vibrated and played music - also a life saver - or sanity saver!

    If you could get one full night of sleep you would feel so much better - we would alternate who got up so we could each get a full night of sleep. Brandon would have the night shift one night and I would do the next night shift.

    That is how we survived that first few weeks! Hope it gets better soon!

  13. sweets, i went threw 4 months of it. you can do, you will not go crazy!

  14. Congrats on the birth of your baby boy. Darling! I haven't commented before, but let me tell you I can relate to this post!!! The early days are so hard and it is rough! I would keep trying new things as all babies are different and you just don't know what might work for your little guy. I definitely recommend swaddling! And my husband and I would take shifts. One of us would do the first half of the night while the other slept downstairs with ear plugs - no joke! Then we would switch. A few hours on non interrupted sleep helps wonders! Good luck! And these early days are all about survival - do what keeps you sane!

  15. I just want to tell you, my little man is 8 weeks old, and it does get better really soon. The first question that comes to mind is are you breastfeeding or formula feeding? I was breastfeeding and baby seemed so upset and uptight and we finally figured out that he was not getting enough food...even though it seemed he was. One formula bottle and I swear we both slept for like 8 hours straight because he was just as worn out as I was. My other recommendation is the book The Happiest Baby on the Block. It's got GREAT ideas for babies who have sleep trouble, including swaddling which I SWEAR by! Changing nothing but swaddling takes our baby from 3 hours of sleep at the longest without swaddling to up to 7 hours with swaddling...anyway I PROMISE it gets better soon. Let me know if you have any questions because I feel like this comment is all over the place! :)

  16. Goodness I don't know why I didn't think of this before, but we've also been dealing with reflux. I'd talk to your pediatrician about that too. Even though it might seem silly to call them about sleeping issues, DO IT. They are very helpful and might know exactly what's wrong. Our little guy is a different baby without his reflux meds and treatments.

  17. Oh dear, I'm so sorry Bonnie! Gooner only slept in our room for 1 night, we couldn't handle it and weren't getting any sleep. Gooner wanted to eat all the time too, but I only fed her ever 2 to 3 hours or she would just throw it up and I'm certain she had a tummy ache. We swaddled her up TIGHT and put a burp cloth on her forhead to fall asleep. I know, weird, but I think she felt more secure that way. We also turned on a fan and that really helped with some noise for her. I don't know.

  18. Oh yeah! I totally second what Leigh said!!! My son was a tummy sleeper ONLY. Gosh, I can't believe I forgot to mention that. The nurses had us freaked out about NEVER letting baby sleep on his tummy, yada yada, and low and behold, I turned a deaf ear and prayed over that sweet baby every night- and tummy sleep he did! We even co slept the first few weeks. YES! Stay away from the books! They'll make you a wreck. You do what is best for YOUR baby, and it will all work out.